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12 January 2005 @ 06:12 pm
Harpier cries 'Tis time, 'tis time  
This has been brewing for a bit
methinks an explanation is due-
you all know me, more or less
some more than others-
thats just the way things are
so the breakdown is this
I'm not the one to call others
or invite people over
I'm not the one to set up sessions
organize functions
this doesn't mean I don't want to, or that I won't
-I'm just usually afraid to
all the assurance
and I'm still too afraid to use the phone
'cos of the impending brush off
which is all but guaranteed in my head

on a day heroic I might be persuaded to change
but only for a short period of time
It seems like I don't put the effort in
-I really wish it
did and sometimes even I'm not available
- I'm just filling time that I wanted to spend with people but didn't want to call

i don't think it helps that I have this feeling that no one wants to be around me
delusional or not
again even with the constant assurance
I'm some sort of recluse
If you've been there thankyou and I love you - no matter how many times I say it
If not thats fine too- I still care
thanks where appropriate to anyone who ever included me
you're the reason I can write this
and not be to worried to post anything but Private
-It must look like I leave people behind
For that I am truly sorry
It's just that
its getting harder to dial.

Current Mood: appreciative
Current Music: I alone -K's choice
Lexbloodonasphalt on January 12th, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC)
are you a fan of any of the following...

the used, my chemical romance, killswitch engage, senses fail, under oath and a static lullaby

izzaleiizzalei on January 12th, 2005 11:50 pm (UTC)
the used, why?
Lexbloodonasphalt on January 12th, 2005 11:59 pm (UTC)
they're all coming to town
kittienofdeathkittienofdeath on January 13th, 2005 12:40 am (UTC)
Well, if there were clubs around, I would call you to go to one of them w/ me. But I geuss if you wanted to hang out then we could go shopping or chill at my house (my house is reallly boring tho). Let me know what tymes you are free and hopefully we can hang out....
izzaleiizzalei on January 13th, 2005 04:48 am (UTC)
this of which you speak sounds good!
Daynaflairbebe on February 14th, 2005 05:22 am (UTC)

<3 you mah lyzzy!
izzaleiizzalei on February 16th, 2005 06:05 am (UTC)
awww, now see thats just cute...<3
<3 you too!